The Crystal Merchant
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It’s hard to discern which path you are meant to tread when one is inescapable and the other’s the one you’re rooting for.
I’ve had one too many crossroads in life, and they each had their own share in leading me to where I am now — with the predicaments and opportunities alike. Maybe I did choose some paths that are less likely to exhaust me, and some may have been bad decisions altogether. But somehow, realizing where I am now, how all those things taught me and molded me into a much more learned, much more experienced person who knows who he is and what he can become..it’s kind of overwhelming. At the same time, it’s a little tricky knowing that wherever I’m headed, the treasure is just home.
I’m like in the position of Santiago, the boy in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, except that I already know now where and what my treasure is. The only thing is that I don’t know if I still need a crystal merchant in order for me to achieve my Personal Legend. Some say I still do. That I need a bridge to get there. But what if it’s already there, the path’s already there before you? What if you’ve learned enough lessons, and omens are clearly pointing you to a certain direction? Do you still need a crystal merchant? I’ve read this line a while ago, and it’s hitting the point:
Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.
I think I’m done knowing better. Right now, at this point in time, when my crystal merchant’s becoming too elusive, the omens are becoming clearer. The signs are like telling me I don’t need to spend years selling crystal in the sand lands. I have learned enough. I know myself enough. God will provide me with everything I’m gonna need to attain that Personal Legend. That’s what I utterly feel now. That Melchizedek is here. That the Englishman is here. That I am closer to the Alchemist.
Nonetheless, I do understand that somewhere somehow we all need a foil — a person, a place, a job, an idea or a disposition that can represent something you are not, turning on the spotlight that will highlight who you actually are, compelling you to choose your own personal calling. And then you will emerge knowing yourself much better, equipped with the right mindset for you to carry on writing and living that legend, maybe even more aggressive than you would have been.
But as I said, at this point in time, my crystal merchant is not somewhere near. And here I am taking little steps in this other path in the fork. I can see the horizon beyond me. The treasures I can reap. The small streets I know will take care of me well. The mountains I can conquer. At the same time, I can’t help but think that probably when the crystal merchant’s ready for me, I can turn around. Go back and walk that path instead. Abandon this beautiful road, and take risks, make sacrifices.
Now I only wish I could have Santiago’s magical stones, Urim and Thummim, to guide me along the way. Should I go back and stay with the crystal merchant? Or should I brave this road I’m currently loving? Help me, Urim and Thummim. Help me, Melchizedek. Sand lands or Andalusia?